Mother’s Day can be a difficult and emotional day for many children in care.
While the day is often presented as joyful and celebratory, for children and youth with complex family experiences, it can bring up sadness, confusion, grief, anger, longing, or trauma. For some, there is ongoing contact with their mothers. For others, there is little or no contact at all. Some may have positive memories, while others may carry hurt, disappointment, or painful uncertainty.
No two experiences are the same, which is why Mother’s Day often needs to be approached with extra care, sensitivity, and compassion.
For children who are in contact with their mothers, the day can still feel complicated. They may be excited, hopeful, nervous, or emotionally overwhelmed. Visits, phone calls, or even the anticipation of contact can stir up big feelings. Children may need support before and after these moments, especially if expectations do not match reality or if contact brings up mixed emotions.
For children who are not in contact with their mothers, Mother’s Day can be just as difficult in a different way. It may highlight loss, separation, unanswered questions, or feelings of being different from their peers. Seeing school activities, social media posts, commercials, and community celebrations centered around mothers can be painful and isolating.
So how can caregivers and supportive adults help?
First, it helps to recognize that behaviour may be communication. A child who seems withdrawn, unusually emotional, angry, clingy, or unsettled may be responding to the feelings this day brings up. Rather than focusing first on correcting the behaviour, it can help to pause and consider what may be underneath it.
It is also important to avoid assumptions. Not every child will want to celebrate. Not every child will want to talk. Not every child will want to make a card, attend an event, or participate in school activities tied to Mother’s Day. Offering choice and reducing pressure can go a long way.
Children often benefit from simple, supportive responses such as:
- acknowledging that the day can feel hard
- letting them know all feelings are okay
- keeping routines as calm and predictable as possible
- preparing them in advance for school or social activities
- making space for conversation, but not forcing it
- supporting safe contact when appropriate
- allowing space for grief when contact is not possible
Sometimes support looks like helping a child make a card or plan for a visit. Other times, it looks like giving them permission not to participate in Mother’s Day activities at all. In some cases, it may mean creating quiet distractions, offering extra reassurance, or simply being a steady presence through a hard day.
Language matters, too. Instead of trying to “fix” the day or make it overly cheerful, it can help to use gentle, open language. Phrases like “This day can bring up a lot of feelings” or “You do not have to feel any certain way today” can help children feel seen without pressure.
It is also helpful to remember that Mother’s Day may not just affect one day. Emotions can build beforehand and linger afterward. A child may need extra patience and support in the days surrounding it.
At its core, the goal is not to create a perfect day. It is to create an emotionally safe one.
For children in care, feeling supported on a difficult day can make a real difference. Being met with understanding, flexibility, and compassion helps children know they do not have to hide what they are feeling.
Mother’s Day can be traumatic for some children. It can also be a day when caring adults help reduce stress, hold space for grief, and remind a child that they are not alone.
At Satori Foster, we believe children need support that is thoughtful, trauma-informed, and centred on their individual experiences. On days like Mother’s Day, that support matters even more.
